BINK'S WIFE (Leave It To Me) |
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Binks was a merchant, a well to do chappie Had nearly everything pleasant in life Only one trouble could make him unhappy He was possessed of a deaf and dumb wife Round to a specialist one day he took her Caught him before he went out on his rounds And said to that gentleman, 'If you will cure her I'll pay you cheerfully five hundred pounds.' Chorus: 'Please leave her to me, I'll cure her,' said he 'She's a woman wants humouring To make her talk is an easy thing I'll loosen her tongue and it won't cause any pain Though dumb from her birth, I'll bet all I'm worth She'll ne'er be afflicted again.' Binks left her there and went back to the city Had to leave home till the end of the week When he returned to his villa so pretty He was delighted to find she could speak Night after night she would talk to her hubby And they were as happy as two little birds But later on - I suspect very strongly Somehow he'd think of the specialist's words Chorus: 'Please leave her to me, I'll cure her,' said he 'She's a woman wants humouring To make her talk is an easy thing I'll loosen her tongue and it won't cause any pain Though dumb from her birth, I'll bet all I'm worth She'll ne'er be afflicted again.' After a while, as her practice grew stronger She'd talk for hours - without drawing a breath One fatal day - he could bear it no longer Binks was afraid she would talk him to death 'Doctor,' said he, 'For a paltry five hundred You made her talk once in less than an hour Now make her dumb and I'll give you a million 'Sir, ' said the Doctor, 'That's out of my power.' Chorus: 'Don't leave her to me, I cured her,' (said he) 'She's a woman wants humouring To make her talk was an easy thing I loosened her tongue - and it didn't cause any pain Though dumb from her birth, there's no power on earth Can make her keep silent again.' |
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Performed by Millie Lindon (b. 1877) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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