I was looking out for a temperate wife
To be mine for better or wuss
So I 'unted round a Band of Hope
Knowin' drink to be an awful cuss
I took out one day a nice young gal,
True, she'd never tasted beer
But she'd sich an orful 'earty appetite
That of temperance I've since kept clear.

Chorus: She promised to be true to 'er bit o' ribbon blue
An' take but water neat
Sez she, 'All pubs is low an' I never drink, yer know.'
But Lor! 'Ow she could eat.

She'd a slice of spotted, an' a cup o' thick,
She'd a 'ard-boiled hegg as well
Then we passes a heel-pie-shop, an' she sez,
'Lor Bill, what a lovely smell'
Then she whispers, 'If you'll stand me one,
You can eat up all the crust
I sez, Jane, my pretty, pretty Jane,
Let me take yer 'ome before yer bust.


She'd a plate o' whelks an' a happle or two
She'd a hice, 'alf lemon, 'alf cream
She'd a pound of dates, an' some monkey nuts
Put chocolate away like steam
Then she 'overed round a two-eyed steak
Ate the bloater an' the row
When I whispers, 'Jane, my own blue ribbon Jane
'Ave yer finished yet?' She answers, 'No.'


She'd a penny buster, an' a sav'ry sav'
She'd a sheep's 'ead stuffed with sage
Then she made me buy 'er some almond rock
An' change it for a ripe green-gage
She'd a strip of Spanish and a kidney pie
Wiv a dollop of shivery shake
When I drawed the line at winegar an' peas
Why she sobbed as if 'er 'eart would break.


She'd a 'ot pertater an' some seedy cake
She'd a gallon of ginger ale
She'd a a'penny 'arf moon cocoa-nut
Whispered 'faggits', and I went quite pale
She 'ad fish and taters, an' some 'ard-bake too
Then a 'ot-cross-currenty bun
I sez, 'Good-bye Jane, may yer live to eat again
Don't yer 'urry up for me, I've done!'

Written and composed by Albert Chevalier & Charles Ingle - 1894
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
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