When I was a nipper only six months old
My Mother and my Father too
They didn't know what to wean me on
They were both in a dreadful stew
They thought of tripe, they thought of steak
Or a little bit of old cod's row
I said, “Pop round to the old cook-shop
I know what'll make me grow.

Chorus: Boiled beef and carrots, Boiled beef and carrots
That's the stuff for your 'darby-kel'
Makes you fat and it keeps you well
Don't live like vegetarians, on the stuff they give to parrots
From morn till night, blow out your kite
On boiled beef and carrots.

When I got married to Eliza Brown
A funny little girl next door
We went to Brighton for the week
Then we both toddled home once more
My pals all met me in the pub
Said a feller to me, “Watcha Fred!
What did you have for your honeymoon?'
And just for a lark I said,


We've got a lodger he's an artful cove
“I'm very, very queer.' he said
We sent for the doctor, he came round
And told him to jump in bed
The poor chap said, “I do feel bad'
Then my Mother with a tear replied
“What would you like for a pick-me-up?'
He jumped out of bed and cried,


I am the Father of a lovely pair
Of kiddies, and they're nice fat boys
They're twins, you can't tell which is which
Like a pair of saveloy's
We had them christened in the week
When the Parson put them on his knee
I said, “As they've got ginger hair,
I want their names to be,


Written and composed by Charles Collins and Fred Murray.
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
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