When they're in boredom, Friends I've assured 'em
Nothing's so jolly as straying up West
Bond Street, I've heard say, owns some recherche
Tea-shop, with vivands and girls of the best
That's where the cavaliers will go, of afternoons
For, in a tea-shop, don't you know - they've lots of spoons
Parisian confections, elaborate complexions
When you walk in those up-to-date saloons

Chorus: I call it the walk, muffin and tea walk
Ladies are fairly in their glories
With lots of charming chaps to hold the darling's wraps
And to tell them all the latest funniest stories
The latest 'chit-chat' concerning this and that
I really consider it sublime
The cake-walk is the rage, at present on the stage
But the cake-walk takes the tea-cake every time.

Tea-cups to scandal gives such a handle
Over the tea-cups, strange stories we hear
Things we are learning, mostly concerning
Neighbours, fond neighbours, whom we hold so dear
Time, somehow, always seems to go so pleasantly
Running down other folk, you know, and presently
When men say, 'Will you marry your own devoted Harry?'
You've got your mouth so full you can't say, 'No.'


Lovers each week, get meeting in secret
Find this is really ideal rendez vous
Ladies with ennui, travel a long way
Just to be meeting your husbnads? Not you!
No girl, without a chaperon, would ever go
All on their naughty little own, they never go
A male thing, bright and merry, is very necessary
To pay the bill and give the thing a tone.

Written and composed by J. P. Harrington & George Le Brunn
Performed by Marie Lloyd but not recorded.
Recorded 1902 by Charles Foster
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