A married pair named Wilkinson once lived in Maida Vale
The husband in the city worked, but thereby hangs a tale
At night he worked, Oh, very late but still it's strange to say
Each night he sought the ballet, while his missus sought the play
He used to sup with Mabel and a captain with his wife
Until one day a note came round to him which caused him strife
'Dear Charlie' wrote his Mabel fair, 'To Brighton by the sea
I'm going, so just dodge the wife and toddle down with me.'

Chorus: Brighton was the place, Monday was the day
Charley went to Brighton with a fairy
But while he was away a Captain bold and gay
Toddled down to Brighton with his Mary.

Then Charley wrote off to his wife, 'Pray pack my trunk in haste
I'm off up North on business and I have no time to waste.'
His wife packed up a trunk with glee and to the captain bold
She wrote a note which I must say was very far from cold
'Dear Bertie - Charlie's going off up North on business pet
Will you come down to Brighton with your Mary, don't forget.'
The Captain answered, 'Darling, yes! Poor Charlie is a jay.'
And soon the second pair of doves to Brighton flew away.


Next morn the artful Charlie with his fairy took a walk
And ran against a pair who were engaged in loving talk
'My wife! and with some scoundrel,' said poor Charlie in dismay
'My husband! With a ballet girl, a nice thing I must say.'
'I thought you were up North, you wretch,' said Mary turning pale
'And you, I thought,' said Charlie, 'Were at home in Maid Vale.'
They quarrelled and kicked up a row till the people said, 'Tut tut.'
And soon no doubt you'll hear them speak these words to Justice Butt.

Written and composed by E.W. Rogers
Performed by Paul Pelham (d. 1919)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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