I met Lucy Bell t'other evening,
With her nephew going out for a walk;
And of course whenever she saw me,
She stopp'd and began a long talk:
About her dear little nephew,
Who she said, was between eight and nine,
Some say he isn't her nephew;
But of course it's no business of mine.

At Mrs. Gogaign's round the corner,
Last evening I heard such a din;
And found that she'd not paid her rent,
So the brokers they'd quickly put in;
I don't know what she does with her money,
Tho' her nose always redly does shine;
I think she spends it on brandy,
But of course it's no business of mine.

A friend of mine yesterday told me,
Last Sunday he'd had such a lark;
He met Mrs... well never mind who,
Taking a walk in Hyde Park,
He offer'd the lady his arm,
And took her to Richmond to dine,
I won't tell you when they came back;
For of course it's no business of mine.

Its time I now thought of retiring,
And hope I've not kept you too long;
The only thing now that I wish is,
That I've pleased one and all with my song;
If I haven't of course I can't help it
I'll do better p'rhaps some other time,
If I dont, my advice to you is...
But of course it's no business of mine.

Encore Verse.
I don't know I'm sure what you wish for
I'm of most at a loss for to tell;
But just give some people an inch,
And they're certain to wish for an ell;
I really think I've done enough,
For you know that this makes the fifth time,
If I could help it, you'd only get three
But of course it's no business of mine.

Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1865
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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