I once knew a girl called Camille,
Of fresh air she was decidedly fond.
She would get up each morning and go for a swim,
She would dive through the ice on a pond.
But she'd never been on the sea,
Although she had longed to in vain.
Till a Master she knew of a coaster, one day,
Gave her free passage to Spain.

Chorus: Camille, Camille
She went on a boat to a place called Seville
That boat on the sea rocked about so that she
Became ill, became ill.

I once knew a girl called Charlotte
I took her one evening to dine
We ordered some potage and entrements hot
And she had two bottles of wine
Now two into one will not go
But these two went straight to her head
She broke fifteen glasses, then started to cry
As I fanned her gently and said,

Chorus: 'Charlotte, Charlotte
You're making the running decidedly hot
You were beginning to blink my dear, you shouldn't drink
Such a lot, such a lot.'

Another young girl Adelade
Kept fowls at the place where she stayed
She had Wine dotes and Leghorns and Orpington's too
And knew all the tricks of the trade
But one day she made a mistake
When buying fresh stock at a sale
She bought a fine bird, which she tended with care
Till she found out that he was a male.

Chorus: Adelade, Adelade
How the neighbours all laughed at the error she'd made
Though that bird is now dead, he'd be living instead
'Ad 'e laid, 'ad 'e laid.

A beautiful girl named Eileen
Kept a laundry where clothes are made clean
All the shirts that I'd worn
Are not now fit to porn
For each one has been torn by Eileen
The last one to come from the wash
Is not what the soldiers call Posh
For the front is as limp as a stale piece of gimp
Eileen starched the tail part, by gosh.

Chorus: Eileen, Eileen
Starched the tail of my shirt and although it's not seen
There's an audible crack in the bend of my back
When I lean, when I lean.
Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
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