I'm in palpitations, 'cos I've got a new young man
And when he's in his uniform he looks so spic and span
I ain't exactly certain what his regiment can be
But he holds the rank at present of a city orderly
I am a lucky gal, I am, I never thought that I
Should captivate a public man whose rank is very high.
He's what you'd call a cross between a scout and pioneer
'Cos he has a broom and dustpan just to keep the roadway clear.

Chorus: I've been a bachelor all my maiden life
But I've been around to my young man's
And we've been bunging up the banns
When I am married unsingle I shall be
For captain Sparrowstarver has this day proposed to me.

He wears two letters on his arm - a golden S. and V.
And 'Sparrowstarvers Volunteers' they represent d'you see?
But people are so ignorant, they cannot understand
And they think the two initials mean the Vestry of the Strand
I think he'll stand for Parliament when I'm his loving spouse
Be'cos he says, when 'e gets old he'll go into the 'house'
I've noticed that his trousers have been patched so very neat
'Cos at the last election I suppose he lost his seat.


I'd like to ask you one and all unto our marriage feast
Or else to see my wedding at St George's in the East
My lady friends with rice and boots are going to be there
And practise at 'Aunt Sally' when they're visiting the Fair
I'm busy getting ready - such expense was never known
Why, it has cost me ten-three-fardens for my trousseau things alone
But I'll do my sweetheart credit when his pals all pipe me off
'Cos they're staying with Lord Rowton, so each one is quite the toff

Written and composed by Edgar Bateman & George Le Brunn - 1901
Performed by Vesta Victoria (1874-1951)
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