One day, Monday, somewhere in town
Hen pecked Mr Brown, met a girl in a smart Parisian gown
He said, 'How do?' and she replied, 'The same as you.'
They walked into a cafe as the clock struck two
Dined together , wined together, then Brown looked surprised
Went and whispered to his old pal Jones in there, he recognised.

Chorus: 'Don't tell the wife, please don't tell the wife
D.O.N.T. I beg of you
Oo, oo, put me with the tigers in the Zoo
But don't tell the wife, I shall lose my life
She's very H.O.T on poor little me
So don't, don't, don't tell the wife.'

They went, time spent, looked around a lot
Those two like a shot, found a nice quiet cosy spot
He said, 'What eyes, they absolutely mesmerise.'
She tumbled he could tell a lot of lovely lies
When quite busy with his LIz, a policeman cried
'Look here, you must not come spooning down this part.'
Said Brown 'All right old dear, but


One morn, forlorn, Brown in disgrace
Poor chap had a face quite like a breach of promise case
Judge said, 'Fie, shame, the jury think you're all to blame
With this damsel here you've had a fine old game
You must pay a lot today, five hundred pounds will square.'
As he wrote the cheque out, Brown said,'I don't care, but

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