I like a careful woman and I like economy
That is to say I like them in a way
But it seems to me that lately my wife goes to the extreme
To just give you an instance, now, today
We hadn’t any butter, so to save the margarine
At breakfast time she cooked a sprat, d’you see
So I ate it, never dreaming I was doing wrong until
She lost her temper, and then said to me

“Don’t you think you’ve overstepped the margin?
Fancy eating all that sprat, good gracious me
Couldn’t you have left the bones for me to stew and get the fat
Or the scales to make fish sandwiches for tea
You nasty, greedy, grasping, selfish, glutton
It’s no wonder that you get so beastly fat
When I distinctly told you, you could only have the tail
The idea of you devouring all the sprat.”

The missus said last summer, “I believe I want a change
So I think that for a month I’ll go away
I’ll leave you sufficient money upon which to keep the house
And the different tradesmen’s bills to also pay
She went, the month expired, then she returned in splendid health
And after she had had a cup of tea
She said “Now where’s the change out of the money that I left?”
I gave it her, and then she said to me

“Don’t you think you’ve overstepped the margin?
You had one and ninepence when I went away
You’ve only paid the baker, and the butcher and the milk
You’ve had a fine old flare up, I will lay
You careless, reckless, double-dyed old spendthrift
A paltry shilling left is all you’ve got
If I’d stayed away a year instead of only just a month
I suppose that you’d have squandered all the lot!”
Written and composed by Harry Boden - L. St. John - F. Warwick & B. Brantford
Performed by Harry Ford (1877-1955)
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