Last night I supped on lobster, and it nearly drove me mad
For through it, when I got to sleep, a funny dream I had
I dreamt the famous Albert Hall was turned into a pub
And there was held a sort of national harmonic club
For poets, painters, politicians, princes, policemen too
With actors, doctors, clergymen and ladies not a few
Were met to hold a sing-song there, to sing each one was bound
Or those who wouldn't warble had to pay for liquors round.

Chorus: And every one of 'em had to sing
If anyone said, 'I've a cold'
'Sing or settle for drinks all round'
They very soon were told
The Prince of Wales was Chairman
Of course he opened the Ball
And sang the Chorus: of every song
At the concert in Albert Hall.

As Chairman there, the Prince of Wales, the first song had to sing
He (just as if he meant it) sang, 'I wish I was a King!'
When he had done, Lord Gumboil Cairns, sang loudly 'I'm a Don!'
Miss Fortescue sang, 'Ain't you glad you didn't take it on?'
The Duke of Cambridge next described the 'Balaclava Charge'
And then someone got up and sang 'There all very fine and large!'
Then 'Woman lovely woman' Sir Charles Dilke commenced to yell
And as he got an encore, sang 'I did it!' very well.


When Princess Beatice rose to sing, with cheers the building rang
'Never, never marry when he's got no cash' she sang
Next Henry, Prince of Battenberg got up and made his bow
And sang with touching emphasis 'I'm living with Mother now.'
A Liberal sang 'God save the Queen' but Parnell hissed him down
Whilst Mr Gladstone tried to sing 'The harp without a crown'
But Chamberlain soon shut him up, for he sang 'Not for Joe!'
Whilst Randolph Churchill warbled 'Is it likely? oh, dear no!'

Written and composed by Wal Pink & Frank P. Aylmer - 1887
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
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