I've got a budget of funny tales,
Listen to this, it occurred in Wales,
A greedy old dame at a butcher's sale,
Bought a rabbit and thereby hangs a tale.

1st Chorus: Fiddle-de-diddle-de-dee,
She ate it with might and main,
Then took the skin back to the butcher's shop,
To see if he'd fill it again.

Once a navvy got drunk and so,
Upon the ran-clan lie thought he'd go;
He fought with policemen of every sort,
Bit the Seargent's nose and next day in Court.

2nd Chorus: Fiddle-de-diddle-de-dee,
The judge said you've fought with Police,
And bit off the nose of the Seargent so,
You're bound over to keep the Peace.

Maggie was darning some socks to wear,
When she left the needle upon the chair;
She couldn't find it till like a clown,
I walked to that chair and I sat me down.

3rd Chorus: Fiddle-de-diddle-de-dee,
I jumped up with such a bound,
She got the needle because it was lost,
I got it because it was found.

There is a girl in a house near mine,
Every night she ought to draw a line;
She keeps her gas alight very late,
I can look into her bedroom straight,

4th Chorus: Fiddle-de-diddle-de-dee,
She ought to pull down the blind,
Last night as she started to change her clothes
She stood up and changed her - mind.

An old couple from the counterrie,
Viewed a picture in the Gallerrie;
'Twas a beautiful sight the old man vowed,
The picture was venus behind a cloud.

5th Chorus: Fiddle-de-diddle-de-dee,
The old fellow heaved a sigh,
I can't see enough for me cash he said,
So I'll wait till the clouds roll by.

Written, composed and performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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