I'm never the one to boast about the aristocrats I know
In fact, I should be disgraced for showing such beastly taste
If ever I meet a Lord or Earl, I pass serenely by
It isn't because I'm vain or proud, I'll tell you the reason why
Since I came down from Oxford, I've been aiming at higher things
And now amongst my friends I number Princes, and Dukes and Kings

Chorus: I know the Prince of Monaco, he's a bosom friend of mine
I've had cigars and ginger ales
With the Duke of Baden Baden and the Prince of Wales
I know the Emperor of Japan
I've met the King of Spain I do declare
In fact, I know every public house
From Marble Arch to Leicester Square

Whenever a noble Lord goes down to open a church bazaar
They greet him in regal state, as if he was someone great
Supposing he condescends to shake the hand of someone there
The Johnny whose hand he shook refrains from washing it for a year
I've never opened church bazaars, It's awful in-fra-dig
But I'm nearly always present when they're closing the 'Old Blue Pig'


My pater, they say, was just the same when he was as old as me
He used to drink quarts of 'Cham' with that fellow who rules Siam
They tell me that with the 'Duke of York' his friendship was sublime
He called at the house each morning yes and left there at closing time
I like to do what father did, whenever the 'Duke's' about
I was there just after day-break and they've only just thrown me out

PDF Sheet Music
Written and composed by Charles Knight & Kenneth Lyle - 1914
Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
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