I had a friend called Green who had a garden
And on his lawn he'd sit for hours and hours
As a garden it was great, but I feel I ought to state
That it never seemed to grow up any flowers
There was just a mound of earth- I beg its pardon
Green said it was a bed, of course he knew
It was planted pretty thick with some little bits of stick
With labels for the flowers that never grew.

Chorus: And the green grass grew all round
There was not a single flower to be found
He said, 'Once there was a pansy, but it's underneath I fancy
Still the green grass grows all round.'

Now a friend of his once lured him from his garden
To play a game of golf with him, you see
I regret to say he swore that he'd played the game before
And he started off quite gaily from the tee
When I say,'he started', well - I beg your pardon
He was there for thirty minutes by the clock
And if you judge at all by the language, then the ball
Was the only thing that didn't get the 'knock'

Chorus: Still the green grass grew all round
Every time he swiped he simply hit the ground
There's a pit where rabbits burrow several bunkers, and a furrow
Where the 'green' grass grew all round.

I think I told you Green had got a garden
Well, he hadn't seen a flower since he was born
So imagine his delight on one lovely Summer's night
When he spotted something white upon his lawn
He looked at it and found it was a mushroom
He had it cooked for breakfast the next day
For a week he lay in pain, and he never spoke again
But quietly and slowly passed away.

Chorus: Still the green grass grew all round
Never more within his garden he'll be seen
Now for nothing more he hungers, for the mushroom was a fungus
And the grass grows all round Green.
Written and composed by Hugh E. Wright & Douglas MacLaren - 1912
Performed by Tom Clare (1876-1946)
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