Everybody seems to be in trouble nowadays
Trouble comes to all of us in many, many ways
Everywhere you go, you'll hear a tale of woe
The butcher wants to meet you when the baker wants his dough
But there's one thing no one wants to pay
This is why this is the latest saying of the day.

Chorus: Have you paid the rent?
Have you paid the rent?
Naughty, naughty, naughty, have you paid the rent?
Here's a wrinkle when the landlord is about
Send the kiddies down to say that mother says she's out
Have you paid the rent?
Have you paid the rent?
Never, never tell a lie.
If you haven't paid the rent
One day you'll repent
And you won't go to heaven when you die

Charlie Brown was bathing in the sea and caught a cramp
Stupid thing to do because the water was so damp
Charlie shouted, 'Oh', lobster caught his toe
Charlie threw his arms up and disappeared below
Then the policeman came and at him had a look
Said to Charlie Brown as he pulled out his little book.


Johnston spent the night out with no knocker on the door
Got no door to hang the blessed knocker on no more
No more roof remains, and though‚he still complains
He has his dinner underneath the table when it rains
And the neighbours' children make poor Johnston queer
Shouting through the keyhole of the house that isn't there.

Words by Herbert Rule & Fred Holt music by L. Silberman - 1922
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
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