HE'S GONE WHERE THE COALS ARE CHEAPER | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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A friend of mine, a publican, began the other day To see how much wealth he could save, and started right away He got rid of his Missis and he got rid of the cat Ate nothing for a fortnight and three months after that. Chorus: Now he's gone where the coals are cheaper And the drinks are all bespoke And instead of lining up for cheese, They all line up for coke. Mc Ginty took a 'flying trip', when five miles in the air The pilot turned around to him and asked him for his fare Mc Ginty said, 'I've lost my purse, shure, it's no use to talk I'm going down the quickest way - I'll get outside and walk.' Chorus: And he's gone where the coals are cheaper And coalmen, it is said Don't make you pay top price for coal And give you slate instead. Old Dough Nut was a baker, and, as bread was rising higher He bought a patent oven to economise the fire One day, it didn't seem as hot as ovens ought to be He didn't want to spoil his batch so, got inside to see. Chorus: And he's gone where the coals are cheaper And burglars get their dues And sergeant-majors go to learn The language that they use. Bill Jones was out of work, and though that was his worst of crimes To get work at the Labour Exchange he'd called a hundred times One morning, when he walked in there, as reg'lar as the clock And they said, 'Yes, they'd got a job.' It gave him such a shock. Chorus: That he's gone where the coals are cheaper Where no one gets cold feet Red noses are a luxury And chilblains quite a treat. Said Pat, 'I've learnt a new trick, now a cannon ball I'll stop I saw some fellow catching 'em as they came over the top He got his pals to fire one, while he shouted, 'That's the stuff, Now, see me catch that cannon ball.' He caught it right enough. Chorus: And he's gone where the coals are cheaper Baked 'tater cans, they ban And the one that makes a fortune Is the Hokey Pokey man. |
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Written and Composed by T.W. Connor - 1918 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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