On Saturday night the wife goes out,
To get in the Sunday grub;
She takes me with her but 'pon my word,
I'd sooner be in the pub.
I have to carry the different things,
It's terrible, s'elp me Bob!
I do have a bit of a lively time
When she gets on the job.

Chorus: Hopping about! popping about! hopping and popping about!
She don't feel happy until she's found,
A joint of meat at threepence a pound.
It looks all right on Saturday night, no doubt,
But you ought to see it on Sunday morning, hopping and popping about!

I'm awfully fond of dogs, you know—
A dog is a friend, indeed !
I own a beautiful pup myself,
He's one of the " sooner " breed.
He wears a muzzle whenever he goes
A-toddle-ing in the street;
But that doesn't worry the poodle—he
Enjoys himself a treat—

CHORUS: Hopping about! popping about! hopping and popping about!
I'm sure his muzzle would make you grin,
For on the end I've fastened a pin;
And all his pals are frightened of him, no doubt,
As soon as he gives 'em a friendly sniff, they're hopping and popping about!

I went in a show some time ago,
And oh, it was something grand ;
A crowd of niggers were there who'd just
Come over from Zululand.
I had some fun with a penn'orth of tacks,
I sprinkled 'em on the floor,
And when they stuck into their naked feet,
The blacks began to roar,

CHORUS: Hopping about! popping about! hopping and popping about!
They grabbed their terrible assegais,
And came for me in different ways;
And one big chief he uttered an awful shout,
"When he gave me a poke with his jiggermazoo, I was hopping and popping about!

Last summer I went to gay Boulogne
On hoard of the Marguerite;
And off I went with a pal of mine
To get something nice to eat.
I "scorfed" it up in a minute or two,
'Twas heautiful, I declare!
And while I was licking the gravy up,
I watched the waiters there,

Chorus: Hopping about! popping about! hopping and popping about!
I asked a waiter to tell me straight
The name of the stuff I'd got on my plate;
Said he, "Stewed frogs", it thoroughly knocked me out,
In my "darby-kel" for a week or two they were hopping and popping about.

"When Kruger began the war, they say,
He made the remark that he
Would "stagger humanity" soon, and drive
The Britishers in the sea.
He's had to reckon with General "Bobs",
And one or two more we know.
Instead of him doing the driving, he's
Been kept well on the go—

Chorus: Hopping about! popping about! hopping and popping about !
He told the Boers some awful lies,
But now we've made them open their eyes.
The game's all up, there isn't the slightest doubt;
They’re scattered all over the blooming country, hopping and popping about.

Written and composed by Fred Murray & Fred Leigh - 1901
Performed by Pat Rafferty (1861-1952)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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