I wanted to join the Yeomanry
They told me I'd have to learn to ride a horse
Of course, I'd have to ride a horse
I went to a livery stable not so far from Charing Cross
To hire a horse of course
They said, 'Well, here's a horse.'
And so, of course, I thought it was a horse
It was a funny animal - the legs it had were four
One at every corner, it could have done with several more
The men bunked me up, I started away on my own
But I don't think I shall ever learn to ride like Sloan.

Chorus: You don't catch me on a gee-gee's back again
It's not the kind of place that you can doze on
The only horse that I think that I could manage
Is the one the missis dries the clothes on.

I'll never forget the feeling
When that horrible quadruped got 'on the go'
You know, I kept on shouting, 'Whoa'
For what with wibberly wobbling and the bumping to and fro
And so and so, what ho, we made a rotten show
So that was why we went to Rotten Row
At last the gee-gee stopped a bit and, looking over there
Saw a beautiful girl with any amount of carrotty hair
He rushed up behind, before I knew what he had done
He had chewed a great big mouthful of the lady's bun.


I had to get off the gee-gee's back
The lady with ginger hair was feeling sore
But Lor, she soon began to roar
I tried to get back to my place, but I perspired at ev'ry pore
And something tore, I swore, when I was up once more
For there was I stuck on behind before
I grabbed the bounder by the tail - he dashed away of course
Then the saddle began to slip and it took me under the horse
The crowd gave a cheer - they thought I was having a spree
But I said, when I came out of the infirmary,

Performed by Frank Coyne (1875-1906)
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