(Good morning Mr Jones, I've got a little song here entitled
‘How your Father? By the way, how is your Father? Oh, he
was alright until he saw you. Oh well, we'll just bide it over,
Are you ready? After the first verse, I'll tell you who wrote it
That is, providing. Right away)

I love to think that you are all a happy family
A lot of lads and lassies out for mirth and harmony
And I'm the host, so in a patronising kind of way
I pat you boys and girls upon the shoulder, and I say

Chorus: How's your Father? All right?
How's your Father? Merry and bright?
For that is how society will greet you everywhere
They don't know who your Father is
And they don't darned well care
It's just a silly little soppy saying like “There's air!”
How's your Father? All right?

(I wrote it)
An old sweetheart of mine, you know, is little Mrs Brown
And yesterday she had a little stranger come to town
Now Brown's a dear old friend of mine, so I called there, you see
And when his little girl came down, I whispered anxiously

Performed by Harry Tate (1872-1940)
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