I've got a wife, the best in life; she's forty, fat, and fair
And though I love her dearly, it happened very queerly
I sent her down to Margate, as she wanted change of air.
(She went by train; I meant to follow by,)
Chorus: The husbands' boat, the husbands' boat
Jolly old boys when we're afloat
The husbands' boat, the husbands' boat
For Margate in the morning.
We had a lovely parting, and just as the train was starting
My wife called out, 'Don't go about to see the sights in town'
Of course I said 'Oh no dear. Without you 'twould be slow dear
So, by the boat, on Saturday, you may expect me down.'
| (I kept my promise, and I didn't go to more than five concert halls in one night. The eagle, Highbury Barn, and the National Gallery don't count, of course) |
On Saturday according, the boat I soon was boarding
And with a lot of husbands got, a jolly set were we
Imagine my surprise, then, I chanced to turn my eyes on, when
I saw a lovely damsel who was looking straight at me.
We got in conversation; I stood a cold collation,
We soon got near to Margate Pier; the time went quickly by
Around her taper waist, then, my arm I just had placed when
I heard a voice that brought me to my senses instantly.
| ('Oh, look, Ma! There's Father. Isn't it kind of him to bring your dressmaker with him on board?') |
My feelings won't bear painting; my wife with rage was fainting
I'll draw the veil upon a scene so painfully severe
Be careful, I entreat you; your wives may come to meet you
Then take your arm away when you're in sight of Margate Pier.
My wife said 'Dear, now, really. Indeed, I speak sincerely
I think you'd better take the rail when you come down again'
Indeed I don't invent it; you may think that I meant it
But every Saturday, somehow, I chanced to miss the train.
(So with the old girl's permission I returned once more to)
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