Once on a time people called me a spendthrift
Lessons of prudence I never could learn
Wasted my substance on riotous living
Till I got married, then came the turn
Two people can't live as cheaply as one
Something or other had got to be done
Cut down expenses for six months and look
Three bob, all mine, in my Savings-Bank Book
Some day, perhaps, a rich man I shall be
And though all my old pals are laughing at me.

Chorus: I don't care - just let 'em laugh, let 'em laugh
People seem to think it comical
Just because I'm so economical
Lor, if I only opened my mouth to speak
I could show 'em that by economy
I can save three ha'pence a week.

My wife and I lke to go to bed early
That's been our rule since the day we got wed
Both of us get up at four in the morning
Sleeping there longer might wear out the bed
Never touch breakfast - have dinner at three
That makes it easy to do without tea
Pop off to 'bye-bye' at eight ev'ry night
That saves the supper and also the light
Some of my neighbours, who're rather ill-bred
Holla after me, 'Cheer up, for soon you'll be dead.'


I go to work by train ev'ry morning
Ride in the smoking compartment, d'ye see
Sniff up the flavour of other men's 'bacca
That saves my money and satisfies me
If I'd been careful like this all my life
You bet, I'd never have married my wife
She's expensive, but soon 'twill be worse
Cradle, condensed milk, and doctor and nurse
Friends and relations, with giggles and grins
Want to know what I'll do if the baby is twins.

Words and music by Fred Murray & Fred W. Leigh - 1901
Performed by Will Dalton
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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