I've had a long night out tonight, it's morning pretty near
That's a sad thing but very true
Last time I had a long night out I felt extremely queer
When I left the boys at half past two
Forgot where I resided, goodness knows what I did
Tried to think of my number but in vain
I've been with the boys tonight, but I've worked the trick all right
Such an awful thing can ne'er occur again.

Chorus: I forgot the number of my house
The last time I went out
I forgot the number of my house
And for hours I walked about all alone
But I've unscrewed the number from the door
And I've got it here tonight
So I've only got to find the door that it belongs to
Then I'm all right.

I'm certain you'll agree with me the notion's rather neat
Here's the number, now where's the door?
Of course before we find the door we'll have to find the street
Yes, we'll have to have a street, that's sure
A p'liceman who espied me with suspicion eyed me
My unfortunate tale I had to tell
'Your idea,' he said, 'Is great, but when next you stop out late
You had better take your door with you as well.'


The p'licman said, 'I'll help you if you tell me where you live.'
Four o' clock then began to chime
I can't remember anything, my memory's like a sieve
It's the street that I forget this time
Where do I live I wonder, married men will understand
That I am in danger of my life
When I do get home again, how the deuce can I explain
So's to make it all look harmless to the wife.

Written and composed by George Arthurs & Fred. W. Leigh - circa 1912
Performed by George Lashwood (1963-1942)
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