No doubt you will think that I look very queer,
Well, the moths have been at me again.
This flag in my 'and is worth two up a pole,
What it's for I will try and explain.
The railway employ me to keep the line clear,
Last week we'd a smash and when danger was near,

Chorus: I kept on waving my flag,
'Twas a terrible smash without brag.
The inspector came round and said, 'Bill, do your best,
Don't lie there like that, come and rescue the rest.'
But what could I do, with a truck on my chest?
So I kept on waving my flag.

Just down where I live there's a grand football team,
They're the 'Salmon Tin Wanderers' by name.
They asked if I'd be referee and linesman,
They know I'm a don at the game.
They started to play when someone cried, 'Foul!'
So I gave a 'duck' and they started to howl.

Chorus: But I kept on waving my flag,
'Twas a terrible game without brag.
The spectators came round and they started to hoot,
I could not blow my whistle to stop the dispute,
'Cos inside my mouth, the left wing had his boot,
So I kept on waving my flag.

Performed by George Formby Senior (1877-1921)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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