When you're in a railway train don't look out of the window pane
I was in a carriage once and did it to my regret
It was just like this you see, some old passenger said to me
'Just pull the window down and see if the train has started yet.'
So I looked out of the window and my hat blew away
And I leaned out to catch it like an idiotic jay
Me bags were tight and they busted, the passengers behind
Said, 'Oh what a little short shirt he's got you'd better pull down the blind.'

When another time I went on the railway to go to Kent
In the railway carriage there a girl and a fellow sat
I felt rather out of place, read the paper to hide my face
And when the chap began to kiss the girl I could not stand that
So I looked out of the window when they began to spoon
I thought it was a couple starting on their honey-moon
But then the fellow he whispered, 'If you will be so kind
The Sun's very hot today, old cock, you'd better pull down the blind.'

I live in a narrow street, right across it is just three feet
From my window you can see right into the one opposite
Last night just at twelve o' clock I was given an awful shock
For in the house across the road I saw all the gas alight.
Refrain:I looked out of the window to the one that's opposite
And there I saw a fat old girl retiring for the night
First she took off her bonnet and then she changed her mind
Then she pulled down the sheets and quilt, and then she pulled down the blind.

When in bed the other night, I woke up with an awful fright
For out in the old back yard I heard such a dreadful row
I thought it's a German Band come to drive us out of the land
My wife said, 'It's an earthquake' then I heard a plaintiff meow.
I looked out of the window and saw our cat, Oh Lor
He was making some arrangement with the ginger cat next door
And when I doused 'em with water, the wife said, 'You're unkind.'
You wouldn't have liked it when you were young
You'd better pull down the blind.
Performed by Fred Earle (1877-1915)
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