I went to an 'unemployed' meeting one night
I knew what the speaker was saying was right
'With no work to do, we are starving.' he said
'And our women and children are crying for bread.'

Chorus: And I said 'Hooray'
On a stretcher they took me away
And when I woke up in the hospital bed
They were putting tinplates in the top of my head
And the doctor exclaimed, 'Why, the poor fellow's dead'
And I said, 'Hooray'

I went to the waxworks one day, and tho' drink
I forgot who I was, and as I stood to think
Some folks gathered round me and as they all shook
They said, 'Yes, that's him! What a villainous look

Chorus: And I said, 'Hooray
My memory's come back today.'
An old lady fainted, then off went her niece
And I said when she came back again with the p'lice
'I know who I am now, thanks! I'm Charlie Peace'
And I said, 'Hooray'

Now when I got spliced to the parson I said
'Can anyone separate us now that we're wed?'
Said he, 'My dear friend, now I've married you two
There's no one on earth who can separate you'

Chorus: And I said, 'Hooray.
Not even yourself parson, eh?
Can't you separate us?' said he, 'Oh no fear,
You're married' then my wife said, 'If that's so dear
We'll stick to his seven and sixpence for beer'
And I said, 'Hooray'

It was on the 9th of November, you know
That I went to look at the great Lord Mayor Show
But somehow I went and got mixed in my dates
And as the precession went through the Guildhall gates

Chorus: I said, 'Hooray'
I thought it was Guy Faux day
So I threw a squib at the Guy Faux on 'spec'
The Lord Mayor's coachman jumped right on my neck
Then the life-boat came up, and as I was the wreck
Well, I said, 'Hooray'

Now I've been expecting a family event
And last Monday evening as homeward I went
The lodger came up and he said with a cough
'You'd best hurry home, 'cos I think it's come off'

Chorus: And I said, 'Hooray'
I ran home to the wife all the way
One man said, 'There's three of them' And I said, 'Oh lor'
When I got to the house someone shouted, 'There's four'
Then they showed me the cat in a box full of straw
And I said, 'Hooray'.
Written and composed by R.P. Weston & F.J. Barnes - 1909
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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