My dear wife I adore, but one thing I like more
I do like my breakfast in bed
And last Monday I got a note
From King George, and here's the way that he wrote
'You're going to be knighted at nine in the morning
So be in the Palace at eight'
I didn't get there till a quarter to twelve
And the Queen said, 'My word you are late'
Then the King frowned at me
'Oh the limit' said he. 'It's a nice time to come here, Mate
Where were you at eight?' I said, 'Come off it mate
I was having my breakfast in bed.'

At our house by the sea just to save L.S.D
We took lodgers last year , Oh my
Our house was packed right to the brink
My wife made me sleep in the sink
Then the missis let that so I slept in the shed
Till the honey-moon couple so bright
Arrived and the wife let the coal shed to them
So I said, 'Where do I sleep tonight?'
The wife said, 'Now I fear
In the fowl house my dear
You will sleep.' 'In that case,' I said
Tell the old hens to lay two fried eggs every day
'Cos I must have my breakfast in bed.'

I once went to see a big boxing display
Between two of the champions I like
The referee came in the ring
And said, 'It's a very sad thing
One man hasn't come. We must call the fight off.'
I jumped up and said, 'I can box'
They put the gloves on me. I started to spar
With a chap seven feet in his socks
I hit him a blow just a trifle too low
Then with anger and rage he went red
Then his left out it flew
And the next thing I knew
I was having my breakfast in bed.
Written and composed by Cartly & Mayo
Performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
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