A careful man in me you spy
With a 'look before you leapful eye'
Ere I to a conclusion jump
I ponder things well in my chump
I overslept quite late this morn
My city train and bus had gone
I seemed to be in such a plight
And wondered was I boozed last night?

Chorus: I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure
If I'd been boozed or not the night before
But when I found I'd squashed my hat
And slept all night upon the mat
Cuddling our old Thomas cat
I was sure.

Once out with Brown I chanced to go
We were not boozed, but just so-so
When in a row somehow we got
Said I to a crowd, 'I'll fight the lot.'
'That's it! Go on! put 'em up,' cried Brown
'I'll pick you up when you're knocked down.'
And when we'd fought round after round
And I laid in pieces on the ground.

Chorus: I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure
If I'd got best off in this thirst for gore
But when I found I'd lost my vest
A navvy's boot in my mouth pressed
And someone danced uipon my chest
I was sure.

I've got a pal who's off his dot
Too many big things there he's got
To see if he was well again
To Colney Hatch I took a train
His keeper armed me with a brick
And said, 'He'll be here in a tick.'
But when I saw my old pal Jim
I looked and looked and looked at him.

Chorus: I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure
If he would get his wits back any more
But when him chewing coke I found
And noticed as he did a bound
he wore his trousers wrong way round
I was sure.

I used to court a girl named Lot
A pretty face she not had got
Whene'er she smiles it turns the beer
And when we kiss it makes me queer
And yet somehow I loved this tart
B'lieve me it nearly broke my heart
When I saw her sitting on a knee
That knee did not belong to me.

Chorus: I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure
If she still loved her Bertie as of yore
But when she called t'other chap her duck
And gave him lemon drops to suck
And says to me, 'You lump of muck.'
I was sure.
Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
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