I'm not satisfied at all with what I am, but could
I only be what I am not depend on it, I would
For madly I'm in love, as deep as deep can be
But sure enough I find to my cost the girl don't care for me.

Chorus: I wish I was a bee, from her lips to gather honey
Or like the great Baron Rothschild, with heaps of ready money
I wish I was a train, or a bath chair I would be
I wish I was a hansom cab, that she should ride in me.

I wish I was an octopus, and she should go to bathe
If she should drown I'd stick to her, my loved one's life to save
By her hair, or the soles of her feet, I'd drag my prize in shore
I'd live, and love and die in peace, and never go to sea any more.


I wish she was Tichborne, and I was the rightful heir
I wouldn't go to law to know who's who, my money she would share
I'd wed her with three wedding rings, to make her safe and sure
And dress her in the finest things, that a fellow could procure.

I wish I was the little belt, that clasps her tiny waist
Or else the jewel in her hair, which bye the bye, is paste
I wish I was a little puppy dog, put in a show for sale
And if she would only purchase me, for ever I'd wag my tail.


I wish I was a Tom cat, and she was a tiny mouse
And we should be the occupants of a four-roomed empty house
If she should run from her hole, and try to escape from me
If she'd refuse to be my wife, then gobbled up she'd be.

Performed by George Leybourne (1842-1884)
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