If the world were ruled by girls
What a difference there would be
The country and town would be upside down
And a wonderful change we'd see.

Refrain: If ladies were p'licemen
The fun it would quickly begin
All the fellows would murder, 'burgle' and steal
For the pleasure of being run in.

If the world were ruled by girls
Some as doctors would want to pose
They'd take their degrees and become MD's
What the end would be, goodness knows.

Refrain: If ladies were doctors
The fellows would think it all right
Well, I know for a fact I've got several chums
Who'd be awfully ill tonight.

If the world were ruled by girls
Perhaps football players they'd be
They'd scream and they'd scratch when they lost a match
And they'd blame the poor referee.

Refrain: If ladies played football
The game would be ruined alack
For on purpose to show off their evening dress
They'd all want to play half-back.

If the world were ruled by girls
They'd be knights of the knife and steel
And all the fops would admire their chops
Their mutton, their beef and veal.

Refrain: If ladies were butchers
'Twould please all the men, it's a cert
They'd be going round every Saturday night
For a couple of pounds of skirt.

If the world were ruled by girls
Many feminine 'Sikes' we'd see
With a 'jemmy' and mask on her midnight task
Very often the pet would be.

Refrain: If ladies were burglars
They'd find lots of swag, be it said
For no fellow on earth would object if he found
A burglar beneath the bed.

If the world were ruled by girls
They would want to sit on the bench
'Twould make us all quail to be sent to goal
By a golden-haired blue-eyed wench.

Refrain: If ladies were judges
The gentlemen would lead a life
For deserting the army they'd let a man off
He'd be hung for deserting his wife.

If the world were ruled by girls
They would govern the GPO
And every 'she' on the strict Q.T.
'Mong the postcards would want to go.

Refrain: If ladies were postmen
The letters would tell then some tales
But it's twenty to one they would all be discharged
For tampering with the mails.

If the world were ruled by girls
Political triumphs they'd seek
And it's twenty to one they would ne'er be done
When once they commenced to speak

Refrain: If ladies were MP's
They'd talk and kick up such a row
But I will say they couldn't talk more and do less
Than the MP's that we've got now.
Written and composed by C.W. Murphy & George Arthurs - 1905
Performed by Whit Cunliffe 1876-1966)
Performed by Ada Reeve (1874-1966)
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