It's awful when your lover's half a man and half a mouse
And won't come in altho' he knows your Father's left the house
My beau's like that, he'll rat tat tat, and shake in every limb
Then stand and shiver on the mat until I say to him,

Chorus: 'Don't stand wiping your feet
On the cocoa-nut mat young man
Father went out an hour ago
There's room for you by the fire you know
Don't stand there.... twirling your thumbs about
If you want to come in, come in,
If you don't, stop out.

My Father doesn't like my Jim, says he don't think he's true
But still that doesn't matter much because, you see, I do
Last night he brought a big bouquet, but was so filled with dread
That big bouquet shook up and down, then I shook him and said,

Chorus:

He didn't heed my tender words, he only stood and stared
I fancy he knew father had just had his boots repaired
I felt so wild to think we'd lose the chance to have a spoon
So once again I shouted to the silly-looking coon.

Chorus: