Now I have got a husband, he's a funny sort of cove
For he's barmy on the flowers of the earth
He loves all kind of blossom, from a sunflower to a clove
Because he's lived among them from his birth
He says he's married me because my Christian name is Rose
And says that in the garden he'll spend hours
But that is no excuse for him to go round mashing girls
Because they chance to be named after flowers.

Chorus: I'll give him writing to Mignonette, I'll put a stop to his games
Mashing his Lily and May, just for their flowery names
Talks in his sleep about Violet and different girls he knows
But he'll have to answer for all his crimes to his wild, wild Rose.

He says that I am simple and cannot understand
What the language of the flowers really means
Well I do, because my brother once deserted from the ranks
And I told him that was 'scarlet runner' beans
It's marvellous how he does the things he often does
He seems to quite forget that we are wed
Some days when he expounds his partiality for flowers
I throw a cauliflower at his head.


He started off last Monday night, I don't know where he went
And when he'd got downstairs - about two flights
He shouted up and asked me for a flower for his coat
So I threw him out a bag of pastry whites.
You would fancy he'd be happy with a loving wife like me
Yes, as happy as the man that's in the moon
No - he must go buzzing round to see what others he can find
He'll get among some stinging nettles soon.


Performed by Florrie Gallimore (1867-1944)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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