At school they called me 'fathead', and I well deserved the name
I was never very keen on education
I well remember every year a fat inspector came
Just to put us through a stiff examination
He said to me one morning, 'Now my boy, what can you do?'
I rubbed my head and said, 'Well, sir, between myself and you,

Chorus: I'm always doing something silly
He said, 'My lad, that won't do at all.
I'll just ask you a question. Let me see, what shall it be?
Who signed the Magna Charta, boy, in twelve-fifteen A.D.?'
I said, 'I won't be sure, sir, but I dare say it was me
I'm always doing something silly.'

Of course, I know I'm very young to have a love affair
But I'm always having something I ought not to
We'd sit each night and hold hands in the park, we didn't care
Till our mothers used to wonder where we'd got to
We'd sit there side by side for hours, quite heedless of the rain
Of course you'll say that's silly, but, there you are again.

Chorus: I'm always doing something silly
We're married now, I shan't forget the day
I walked up to the altar as they rang the wedding bell
The parson said to me, as I stood by the side of Nell
'Will you take this to be your wife?' I said, 'I may as well
I'm always doing something silly.'

The day we bought the twins a pram I never shall forget
For we took them with us when we went to buy it
The one my wife selected was a double basinette
So I said, 'All right, old girl, we'd better try it.'
The man said, 'Shall I send it?' I said, as I paid a quid
'No, put the youngsters in, I'll wheel 'em home.' And so I did

Chorus: I'm always doing something silly
I wheeled the twins home in that basinette
But ev'ry one we chanced to pass with laughter seemed to shake
The wife said, 'John. see what they're laughing at, for pity's sake.'
I found I'd left the ticket on the pram - 'All our own make'
I'm always doing something silly.
Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1908
Performed by Jay Laurier (1879-1969)
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