The Merriest Man Alive! Alive! Alive!

I'm happy and gay and the people all say,
I'm the merriest fellow alive;
I'm laughing all day in a jocular way,
To be jolly somehow I contrive;
I really can't help it, I'm shouting all day,
I'm laughing where'er I may be,
I laugh in my sleep, and I laugh when I wake,
And I laugh at whatever I see.

Chorus: I'm such a jolly man, such a very jolly man,
With my merry Ho! ho! ho! he! he!
I'm the merriest man alive, alive! alive! alive!
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! he! he!

I laugh if I see an old lady slip down,
Through treading on loose orange peel;
If a peeler slips down and injures his crown,
I can't tell you how happy I feel;
If a man tries to sing in a falsetto voice
"Pretty Jane," or the "Lost Chord," oh my!
If he cracks on his top note and fairly breaks down,
I laugh till I'm ready to cry.


My landlady came to my room t'other day,
And she said the rent must be paid;
I laughed in her face, "It's a very hard case,
Mrs. Tomkins, I'm really afraid;
For I haven't a sou, betwixt me and you,
And my best clothes are all up the spout."
Then I kissed her, I did, said, "Lend me five quid,
And I'll wed you when I get 'em out."


I've got a great rival, W. Gladstone's his name,
Such a jolly old joker is he;
If he'd only consent to sing a song here,
My stars! what a hit he would be.
Just fancy you see him, just here, where I stand,
Singing a song full of glee,
He would do it so grand, with a wave of the hand,
Such a grand old comedian is he!

Chorus: I'm such a clever man, such a jolly clever man,
With my merry Ho! ho! ho! he! he!
I'm the cleverest man alive, alive! alive! alive!
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! he! he!"

I laugh when I read Randy's letters each week,
He got amongst lions, you know;
Saw seven at one time, so he says, but we know,
That lions in 'flocks' do not go.
We don't disbelieve what his lordship may write,
His veracity no one will tax,
But supposing he'd stopped to skin those 'wild beasts',
He'd have found they had wool on their backs.


Written and composed by John Nash - 1892
Performed by 'Jolly' John Nash (1830-1901)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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