IN THE MORNING | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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My wife's sister is very ill, you know So my beloved went away about a week ago Left me alone, all upon my own I'm having such a time of it I've gained about a stone The day she went away, she told me what to do But I'm very fond of what I eat With the old gas stove, I'm as happy as can be There's no mistake, I'm getting on a treat. For in the morning I make a cup of tea Cook myself a kipper, it's as easy as can be Then at lunchtime, out I go and buy a breast of mutton People think that I'm a glutton Then at teatime, I have a little nap with my rummy rummy packed out tight And the only time that I miss the little wife is When I tumble into bed at night. Oh, what a life we lead One day I cooked a sausage in a pan Every time I looked at it, I thought of Mary Ann And how I 'tut' when the darn thing bust It jumped out of the pan, and hit me wallop on the 'crust' So out I went and bought a piece of pickled pork And it suits me to a T all right Cooked it all at once, It'll last me now for months And I can cut myself a rasher every night. And in the morning I make a cup of tea Cook myself a kipper, it's as easy as can be Then at lunchtime, don't I munch Absolutely ripping, I'm so fond of bread and dripping Then at teatime, I buy a pound of sprats And cook them by the candlelight And the only time that I miss the little wife is When I tumble into bed at night. After breakfast I wash up the mug And from the bedroom window you could see me shake the rug One fell in the street, about a dozen feet It knocked the butcher over and he fell upon his meat But when I go to bed I'm as lonely as can be For as in between the sheets I crawl There's a space all bare, and there's no-one laying there So I'm sleeping with my face towards the wall. And in the morning I make a cup of tea Cook myself a kipper, it's as easy as can be Then at lunchtime, out I go and if I back a winner I have something for my dinner Then at tea time, if I want to make a change, at a Penny saveloy I bite And the only time that I miss the little wife is When I tumble into bed at night. |
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Performed by Fannie Leslie (1858-1935) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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