Miss Mary Ann Jones was the fair maiden's name
An aspirant she to great riches and fame
But she was so poor and unknown that her claim
To social rank wasn't worth that!
Yet, in her small way, her ambition would rise
To such an extent, that she lived in the skies
Like most other girls, dress came first to her eyes
She would be an aristocrat.

Refrain: She wanted to dress in the latest style
All her costumes designed by Worth
Her hats to be 'dreams' trimmed with plumage from
All the rarest of birds on Earth
In seal-skins and satins, and Brussels lace
She'd look an ideal belle
But she dressed herself up in some second hand clothes
And they suited her just as well.

Miss Mary Ann Jones was a great epicure
Her tastes were most fanciful, you may be sure
A steak or a cutlet would never allure
Her taste, or give her much delight
All day she would picture a banquet, and wish
In fancy dine off each delectable dish
A phantom of chicken, or ghost of a fish
She had such a fine appetite.

Refrain: She wanted to dine at the Cafe Royal
And partake of their table d'hote
To start with consomme or tortue claire
And to finish with wines of note
To dine off a pheasant or choice sweetbread
Her appetite to quell
But she dined a la carte on a 'sausage and mash'
And it suited her just as well.

Miss Mary Ann Jones of her spinsterhood tired
Although by true love her young heart wasn't fired
Her male friends were not quite the sort she required
Their fortune and rank were too small
A commonplace suitor would fill her with dread
'Romantic attachments are nicer,' she said
Though anxious to taste married bliss and get wed
She turned up her nose at them all.

Refrain: She wanted to marry a millionaire
Or the son of a Duke or 'Sir'
A Viscout or Marquis she would not mind
But a Prince she would much prefer
She wouldn't object to a titled spouse
Providing he was a 'swell'
But she married Pat Murphy who carries a hod
And it suited her just as well.

Miss Mary Ann Jones had a musical soul
To pose as a critc was her favourite role
Of music she was a good judge, on the whole
And flattered herself she could sing
She didn't like drama or common burlesque
And musical commedies thought most grotesque
Her idea of music was more picturesque
And concerts were not quite the thing.

Refrain: She wanted to go to the opera grand
And to sit in a box each night
To witness Mascagni's or Wagner's works
For good music was her delight
To hear Jean de Reszke or Melba sing
In 'Faust' or 'William Tell'
But she went to a music hall, heard a few songs
And they suited her just as well.
Performed by Bessie Bonehill (1855-1902)
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