I went to church like a two year old
To marry my Maud this morning
Without the slightest warning
My hand the pet was scorning
Mothers and Fathers, Uncles and Aunts
Were there to see us made one
But she sent me a note that she'd changed her mind
And so the poor dog had none,

Chorus: But I must get married today
Or what will the neighbours say
What's to become of the wedding spread?
The easy chair and the featherbed?
Find me something to marry
Or else my poor heart will break
Anything young in a skirt will do
It's a pity to waste the cake.

We wandered outside to the nearest pub
For something with soda in it
Then I said “Don't this win it
I want a wife this minute”
“How would her maiden aunt, Mary Ann go?
Said Dad as he puffed his pipe
“Now she's come to a sensible ripe old age”
I said, “Yes, a bit too ripe,”


“Would any girl here like a husband? Please!
This new wedding ring wants filling
And such suspense is killing
You'll find me kind and willing
Come along Mary, or Fanny, or Flo
‘I will', is so easily said
Then we might find the Parson, and do the trick
Before he goes off to bed,

Written and composed by J.P. Harrington & Orlando Powell - 1909
Performed by George Lashwood 1863-1942)
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ