Harry Bedford

I've had my hair cut and a penny shave,
You can believe me as I live.
I'd such whiskers half an hour ago,
That you couldn't spot my handsome chiv.
I went away not a long time back,
Just like a silly, greedy elf,
My intention was to come back here,
With absolutely untold wealth.

Chorus: I've been digging for the gold
Out in the Klondyke mine;
What with one thing and another,
Oh! I have had a lively time!
I tried every way to make it pay,
But all I got I owed.
The next thing I dig is a beef-steak pudding,
At my digging in the Old Kent Road!

I went to Klondyke, money in my kick,
And half a dozen suits of clothes;
But I wish now that I had enough
For a pint of ale to drown my woes.
If you but knew what they charge for grub,
You'd never, never go out there,
Four and tuppence for a last years egg,
And kippers ar a quid a pair.


If I'd known before I made a start,
Icebergs are always to be found,
Just for fun and pleasure, you can bet,
I'd have had my blooming old skates ground.
Talk of the cold, well, upon my civ;
Soon as I said a word it froze,
And each morning when I woke, I found
An icicle upon my nose.


Written and composed by George Lester & Bennett Scott - 1897
Performed by Harry Bedford (1873-1939)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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