Smith rolled home one morning as the clock struck three
Wife was waiting up for him, 'Explain yourself,' said she
He said, 'Listen Darling, I've been in a fix
It isn't Scotch and Polly, dear, I'm full of politics
Don't think that I've been in bad company
I'll tell the truth, my lovy dove,' said he.

Chorus: 'I've been out with Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, last night
You can trust old Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown's all right
We were talking politics, for miles we seemed to roam
Got wet through, lost my last tram too
And I walked - walked home!'

Charlie Brown on free trade started very strong
'Let's have two more Black and Whites,' I said
'That's where you're wrong
What we want's protection, t'other's tommy rot.'
But Charlie's got a bigger jaw than Winston Churchill's got
Said Smith, 'The way I took him down was great
So darling, please excuse me being late.


Smith rolled home one evening, went straight up to bed
In a tick was snoring loud enough to wake the dead
Suddenly he woke up, heard a loud rat tat
And peeping from the window saw a Merry Widow hat
'Twas wifie dear, 'Where have you been,' he cried
Then wifie in a merry mood replied,

Performed by George Lashwood (1863-1942)
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