I'm a man that's fond of seeing life, and my wife, by the way
She said to me 'John Willie, you shall have a holiday'
She brought me up to London the sights to let me see
And when we arrived at St Pancakes my wife she said to me

Chorus: 'John Willie, come on! mind you don't get run o'er'
A lady came up to me and said, 'Have we not met before?'
My wife said, 'Miss, how dare you.
That's my husband so begone.
You know it's mine, I found it first
John Willie, come on!'

She took me by the hand into the picture gallery
I saw a champion picture there, it fairly tickled me
It was a woman in the sea with long hair on her head
I was getting interested when my wife turned round and said

Chorus: 'John Willie, come on! that picture makes you stare
It's only Venus rising from the sea, so don't stand there
I couldn't take my eyes off it, when the wife shouted 'John
The tide's coming in, it's not going out
John Willie, come on!'

We went in Madam 'Two Swords' waxwork show, and it was grand
And there we saw all waxwork kings and queens all shaking hands
There was Mary Queen of Scots, and Queen Elizabeth you see
And they rather took my fancy, when my wife she said to me

Chorus: 'John Willie, come on! It's closing time, you see
The lights went out and all was dark and quiet as could be
On turning round to my surprise, I found my wife had gone
And I'm sure I heard Queen Elizabeth say
'John Willie, come on!'

It's very nice to have a wife like mine that likes her drops
She often takes me round with her to look at all the shops
The other day we passed a building, it was plain to see
A mother's meeting, all on men - my wife she said to me

Chorus: 'John Willie, come on! It's free we'll go in here
The place it was a lecture hall, the speaker got a cheer
When she said 'Man came from Monkeys' at me looked every one
My wife said, 'She's getting personal, John Willie, come on!'
Written, composed anf performed by George Formby Senior (1877-1921)
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