While walking out the other night, I heard a jolly song,
That induced me to sit down and try to write one right or wrong.
The one heard was meant to quiz a respected friend I know,
Who, in a most nonchalant style, sings, 'No, no, not for Joe.

SPOKEN - A capital song too... and the incomparable style in which my friend, Baxter, expresses his negatives in such a positive manner, has induced me to reply by the following affirmative.

Chorus: A pretty little wife as a partner for life
And a thousand or two in the bank,
With a good friend too, who is honest and true,
That's just the thing for Frank.

The fellows wondered how it was that I got on so well,
The many hearts I caused to break 'tis impossible to tell;
To enumerate my lady loves, would not gain for me a thank,
And 'twould be a breach of confidence and not the thing for Frank.

SPOKEN - Decidedly not, any fellow guilty of such an indiscretion, would never be worthy of...


When I was single 'pon my word, my friends did all declare,
That at making love to pretty girls, Frank Fairface was 'all there.'
To stately dames I've whispered low, 'til in my arms they sank,
An intersting picture, eh? and just the thing for Frank.

SPOKEN - Decidedly intersting, pro: tem: but nothing to the delights experienced with...


But now I'm married and done for, I'll propose a toast for all,
And altho' an old one still I know, you'll answer at my call,
'May the single all get married and the married happy be.'
And then with right good-will you'll all, this chorus sing with me,


Of worldly goods I have my share and am jolly as can be!
For I'm a friend to any man; who friendly acts to me,
So in the lott'ry of this life, may you never draw a blank,
But to see you all as gay as myself is just the thing for Frank.

SPOKEN - Just the very thing for Frank, for what can be more pleasant than to see those around you happy, especially when you have the gratification of knowing, that in some slight degree you have contributed towards that happiness.
I hope, some day, I shall be personally acquainted with every one of you, I hope, some day, I shall receive an invitation to visit every one of you and I trust that when I do have that pleasure, that every one of you will be possessed of...


Written, composed and performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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