For years and years I've been wondering
Why the neighbours called me 'Mary Ann'
Till a gentleman friend, who's a blacksmith like me
Said, 'That's because your wife wears the trousers don't you see'
So that night when I'd finished my cleaning
'Stead of going to bye-bye at ten
I exploded a big paper bag I'd blown up
Went like this to the missis and then.

Chorus: Just to show who was boss of the house
Some horrible language I used
I ramped and I raved, then I started to curse
I said, 'bloomin' and 'stuffin' and words that were worse
I swanked like an actor, and screamed
'Too long you've had me for the mouse'
Then I stood on the fender and fell in the fire
Just to show who was boss of the house.

At the top of our street lives a Mormon
And he calls round converting Jane Ann
If I'm there he'll look at the wife quite annoyed
Then say to her, 'Why don't you have it destroyed'
One night as I lay underneath the blankets
I heard him below on the sly
I hatched a most harrowing plot in my mind
Left the bedroom with blood in my eye.

Chorus: Then to show who was boss in the house
I crept down the stairs on my toes
And there was my Mormon friend Hezekiah Peck
Converting Jane Ann with his arm round her neck
I suddenly dashed in the room
And I made a loud sound like a mouse
Then I yelled, 'Bogie, Bogie', and ran back to bed
Just to show who was boss of the house.

When I used to go into hysterics
My missis was awfully afraid
For whenever the least thing upset me you see
I'd stand on my 'dig' and then she'd stand upon me
One day she was reading the 'Pink One'
And I wanted to read it also
But she threatened to take down the strap if I did
So I then put my foot down like so.

Chorus: Just to show who was the boss of the house
I went and I washed all the clothes
I scrubbed all the pans and I cleaned all the mugs
I made all the beds and filled all the jugs
I didn't get finished till evening
Then she started my temper to rouse
So I went and did the place over again
Just to show who was the boss of the house.

My first wife departed one morning
And the doctor looked quite hard at me
He examined my face, then exclaimed rather strong
'It's a wonder to me she survived it so long'
Then another gay female pursued me
And dragged me to church straight away
But I meant to be govenor, so when we reached home
I began without any delay.

Chorus: Just to show who was boss of the house
I ran up the steps two at a time
And at night when the guests had all gone where they dwell
I put on my 'dolman' and went out as well
Through our window I gave a sly peep
All alone was my newly made spouse
So I cried, 'April Fool' and I stopped out all night
Just to show who was boss of the house.
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)
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