This war is quite upsetting, o'er the country you'll agree
The lads from our village have all gone to war but me
The medical authority said I was of no use
Because I was too simple. That was their only excuse
But I've made up my mind that I'd do something in a way
Of national importance and I'm very pleased to say.

Chorus: Since the lads of our village have all gone to the war
I'm having such a busy time, I never had before
I'm never, never idle, for every day you'll find
Why, I'm busy courting all the girls the fellows left behind.

If you could only see me, it's quite surprised you'd be
The lasses are just like a swarm of bees all over me
They cuddle me and kiss me and they call me 'Simple John'
But still I'm plenty good enough for them to practice on
At first I used to feel so shy at making love somehow
But since I took this business on, I'm not so bashful now.

Performed by Zona Vevey
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