Did you ever see a ruler of society?
Have you ever met the ruler of a fashionable set?
A lady rather fast, though not too fast to last
The slightly overrated, much appreciated, Queen of the gay West End
Well, I'm Missis Talbot Taylor, a regular , right down nailer
Once I went upon the stage - where of course I was the rage
And at first I wore my skirts, rather short - not that it hurts
But when Duke said I was delectable
My skirts became quite respectable
And instead of burlesque and comic opera
I played Juliet and Ophelia, 'cause it's properer.

Chorus: And now I'm the leader of society
Circumspect, quite correct, a model of strict propriety
Friendly with Duke and Prince, once I was gay and sillyish
Rather sillyish - Piccadillyish
But now I've settled down in the West End of town
And I'm quite the strictly proper ever since.

Whenever you have met me in society did you ever see
My uncomplaining husband out with me?
You see he's rather slow, he doesn't count you know!
I married him - it's funny, I think because he'd money
And a house in the gay West End
Well, I didn't think at all but, through the Duke I married Talbot
He said, 'Do just as I say, you won't find him in the way.'
It was just as his Grace said - Talbot's quite dense in the head
And when I go out and gad about, Talbot has nothing to get mad about
At Monty Carlo I air my identity - with my husband?
Oh, dear no, he's a nonentity.


Don't they talk a deal about me in society?
Have you been among ladies who had not a jealous tongue?
They think it only sport to say what they hadn't ought
But, if I cared to repeat them, at their own game I could beat them
With tales of the gay West End
But I just pop down to Ascot with the Duke - oh, I'm his mascot
There I bet upon the gees, if I win, I draw with ease
And if I do lose, they never dream that I should pay
Does Talbot object? - he's too etherial
And if he did - well, that's quite immaterial
Divorce Court! who would dream of such complicity
Who dares hint at matrimonial infelicity?
Performed by Lottie Collins (1866-1910)
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