Since the days of my youth, if I tell you the truth
I have caught everything to be caught
First the measles then mumps, and I caught many clumps
My experience dearly I bought
In the more recent days, I've caught every craze
Such as ping-pong and diabolo
There's a Limerick rage in which I now engage
And my present engagement will show.

Chorus: I'm Limerick mad, I'm Limerick mad
In all the newspapers I see
Thousands of pounds have been given away
To everybody but me.

Now, this Limerick fad I have caught it so bad
That I do all my shopping in rhyme
Such as , 'One pound of cheese, are those eggs new-laid, please?'
He say, 'Yes' I say, 'Once on a time.'
Should I purchase some fish, I say, 'Humour my wish,
Wrap it up in 'Tit-Bits' if you please.'
That's a coupon for nix - but for good Limericks
I should like you to listen to these:

A young girl up at Stockton-on-Tees
Has a beau as bow-legged as you please
Through this awful mishap
She can't sit on his lap
Without laying a board on his knees.

A young man on the Aston highway
In an argument happened to say
'If success you would gain
Down with Joe Chamberlain.'
He was buried at Witton today.

Said a Salvation Lassie from Crewe
'Ah, young man, when you die, tell me do
Where do you want to go?'
He said, 'Well, I don't know.'
He had friends in both places he knew.

Said old Green to a waiter in Slough
'What's this soup?' He replied with a bow
'Bean soup,' Then said Green
'I don't ask what its been,
I am asking you what it is now.'
Written and composed by by Frank Leo - 1907
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
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