The news it come to village t'other day
We be going to smarten up like London Town
For the schoolmaster at school he had to say
That the great Lloyd Jarge to us was coming down
'E be coming down to alter all the cots
'E be coming down to alter all the soil
He'll make fairy kids of all the tiny tots
And he'll alter me too, that's what makes I smile
He's a wonderful ol' chap, Lloyd Jarge
To be coming to the likes of I
For the cottage where I live
He'll a mighty mansion give
With a roof that's sticking through the sky
He be going to make a Duke of I
And a Dukess of my old girl Marge
Why, it makes I laugh. We had to have a bath
He be a wonderful chap Lloyd Jarge.

When Farmer growls, because the land don't pay
'Cos flies gets on the turnips as they grow
'I'll write and ask what George has got to say
'Cos there bain't be any flies on Jarge, you know
And if our old sow don't give a proper brood
I've only got to write and send for Jarge
And if the ducks lay eggs that bain't be any good
I'm darned if 'e don't give the duck in charge
He's a wonderful old chap, Lloyd Jarge
To be coming to the likes of I
He'll make pheasants disappear
But not Welsh Rabbits, so I hear
And they tell I that pigs will really fly
We be glad 'e's coming down our way
'Cos 'e's up to every artful dodge
If the hens don't pay, he'll make the old cock lay
He be a wonderful chap, Lloyd Jarge.
Written and composed by Tom Wick & Ernest Shand
Recorded by Ernest Shand - 1913
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