When you travel on the railway with your sandwich and your rug
Your drop of Scotch, your pipe or cigarette
The moment that the train arrives you scramble out like mad
And it's ten to one that something you forget
You don't wait for the train to stop, you open wide the door
Which hits a porter on the nose, or plumps him on the jaw
You throw your luggage in a cab, and then land home to find
That your hat-box or your overcoat, or stick you've left behind.

Chorus: Come to me, and I will find it for you quickly
Come to me, now don't delay
If you lose your watch, if you lose your wife
If you lose your character or your life
I'll find 'em for you, come to me.

Oh, It's wonderful what funny things are lost upon the line
You'd stare if in my office you had been
There's a toothbrush and a coffin, and a kitten and a snake
And a mummy of an old Egyptian Queen
The brains of many a man must be just like an addled egg
Can you think of how a fellow could forget his wooden leg?
I've known folks lose their books, and on this statement I'll lay quids
Last week a fellow left behind his wife and several kids.


I don't know what some folks think I'm on this earth for at all
They drive me absolutely off my dot
There's some of them go losing things they never had to lose
Upon my word, they are a tricky lot
A rorty sort of customer came up last Saturday
Said he, 'I've lost a five pound note upon the railway'
I said, 'All right, give me the facts, I'll question all the guards.'
Said he, 'I hope you'll find it, sir, I lost it playing cards.'

Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
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