LOT 99
Rose Harvey

At an auction the sale was proceeding,
And Algy proceeded there too,
Intending to pick up a bargain, you know,
To furnish his new flat in Pimlico.
There, sat on a couch in the corner,
A maiden so sweet, so divine.
And over her head Algy noticed,
A ticket marked, 'Lot ninety-nine.'
Said he, 'Well that's funny, I'm sure,
I've never seen girls sold before!'

Chorus: 'Lot ninety-nine,
Oh! what a beautiful prize,
Just what I have been looking for,
Would look well in my flat, I'm sure.
When it goes up for sale,
The others I'll outshine;
If they're not kidding,
I'll never stop bidding for Lot ninety-nine.'

Now poor Algy he got so excited,
He'd got ninety-nine on the brain;
He bought everything that was put up for sale,
A trombone, a flat-iron, an old tin pail.
The auctioneer held up his hammer,
Algy bid ninety-nine for that;
And all the time throwing sly glances,
To where Miss lot ninety-nine sat.
He went out and shouted a cab,
And came back preparing to grab.


At last 'ninety-nine' was put up and,
A man at the back bid two pounds;
But Algy bid seventy-five pounds like a shot,
And got it knocked down to him on the spot.
Went over to claim his new bargain,
And oh! the nice things that he thought!
Said, 'Lot ninety-nine?' she said, 'Yes,
It must be this sofa you've bought!
I sat there just watching the sale.'
Then went off and left him to wail.


PDF Sheet Music
Written and composed by C.G. Cotes & Bennett Scott - 1898
Performed by Rose Harvey (d. 1899)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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