( Parody )
Behind her back I would not run sweet Maggie Murphy down
But both she and her Mother are disgraces to the town
They live upon the 'make haste' and every dodge they're at
And there isn't much that's paid for at Maggie Murphy's flat.

Refrain: Near every night she gets so tight, and has a rare old spree
Treating all the girls, and all the boys with their own L.S.D
There's a barrel in the parlour from which the 'tiddley' flows
And there's a pimple every morning on Maggie Murphy's nose.

She stands before the window just to see the passers-by
And when she spots the Landlord, she 'winks the other eye'
The folk who live beneath them say she's 'a saucy cat'
And there's ructions every evening in Maggie Murphy's flat

Refrain: She looks so gay in town each day, dressed up in dashing style
She wears false hair and satins rare, beside a whisky smile
But just watch her cross the roadway, and when she lifts her frocks
You can see there's holes want darning in Maggie Murphy's socks.

She dances in the ballet and is what they call a 'pro'
But she only gets engagements in the Pantomime you know
The mashers'send her presents of 'tights' and things like that
And attend the dress rehersals in Maggie Murphy's flat.

Refrain: And she delights to wear pink 'tights' where lime-lights brightly shine
She comes on in the front row first, and then plays Columbine
Though she doesn't earn much money, she's always lots of quids
And the Bogie man's related to Miss Maggie Murphy's kids.
Performed by G.W. Hunter (1851-1936)
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