I've done what I regretted since, indeed I've been a muff
I wed because I thought that I'd been single long enough
I married Jenny Jinks, a few relations she has got
And I found that when I wedded her I'd married all the lot.

Chorus: There's her uncle, and her brother,
And her sister and her mother
And her auntie and another
Who is cousin to her mother.

Well, first her uncle called on her, and then her brother came
Her mother dropped in casually, her auntie did the same
And then the others followed suit, wasn't it a sell
I wouldn't mind them calling, but they board and lodge as well.


Oh, how they do all eat and drink, and they enjoy it too
They look like beasts at feeding time, you meet with at the Zoo
When I ask friends to see me, I'm ashamed, upon my life
It takes me nearly half an hour to introduce my wife.


My life is nearly worn away, sometimes I'm almost mad
If her relations would retire, indeed I would be glad
Today I bought my wife a watch, and on my word it's true
She said, 'Dear Charles, of course you've bought the others watches too.'


I then got in a towering rage, it really was too bad
It then became as clear as day, 'twas plain that I'd been had
You never witnessed such a scene, her tongue went like a bell
But I'd not only her at me, I'd the others too, as well.

Written, composed and performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
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