That are done in this curious age
We try to imagine why such things are done
But really they'd puzzle a sage
We read about girls who are pretty and young
Being married to very old men
I don't say they marry the old men for their coin
But if it's not that why... what then?
Chorus: Do they do it for love? - no fear!
Do they do it for love? - no fear!
If a young girl I say, weds a man old and grey
Does she do it for love? - no fear!
Now we all know that married folks quarrel sometimes
And now and again come to blows
And woman (being weakest) she naturally gets
The worst of the fray you'd suppose
But sometimes she gets a good chance with her nails
The man gets a terrible scratch
He knows he will have to explain to his pals
So a jolly big 'fib' does he hatch.
Chorus: Was it done by the cat? - no fear!
Was it done by the cat? - no fear!
When on a man's face finger marks you can trace
Is it done by the cat? - no fear!
Say you've been out to dinner, and freely partook
Of all the good things on the board
You've drank so much wine that to use a slang term
You're really 'as tight as a lord'
You're staggering home clutching hold of the lamps
On your face there's an imbecile grin
When all of a sudden a P'liceman come up
And talks about 'running you in'...
but if you gently press the sum of one shilling into his hand...
Chorus: Will he 'run you in' then? - no fear
Will he 'run you in' then? - no fear
If you tip him a wink, and a 'bob' for a drink
Will he 'run you in' then? - no fear!
We are pestered with nuisances now in our streets
But the greatest which we have to stand
Is that army commanded by General Booth
That so called 'Salvation Band'
Their hideous shouts drive us nearly mad
(Wild Indians couldn't be worse)
They call it religion but I say it's this
A dodge to put coin in the purse.
Chorus: Would they do it for 'nix'? - no fear!
Would they do it for 'nix'? - no fear!
Do they shout, sing, and pray, in the streets for no pay?
Why - what do you think? - no fear!
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